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My balloon broke (what to say to a kid)

My way to answer MOST children when their balloon breaks while you’re packing and heading out the door. (One foot is out the door) After the “official” balloon making is over I explain that I need the remaining balloons for another party. Then someone approaches as you’re headed out the door and you know another one will be right behind them. (Remember you are in the middle of packing and leaving.)

Statement: My balloon broke?!?
Response: So did mine! (that stops them right there) You know…when I make balloons I give them all away. I gave away 20 balloons today. So, my balloon… the one I gave you, broke….(Pause)…OUR balloon broke. We both had it for a while. Be happy…It’s going to a better place. Here’s what you do. Think good thoughts… I want you to put OUR balloon in the trash so it will be recycled. Some day it might become part of a car or a toy. Recycling is a good thing. Thank you very much. You are very helpful. Unfortunatly, I really have to get out the door so would you also tell
anyone else to do the same thing if they break theirs, too? Thank you. (Remember, your hands are busy loading the dolly so it’s not like you’re just standing there with the ability to dig in the bottom of your case because, you can’t).

Now, before I get hate mail from all of you who think I’m being mean… “Why don’t you just make the kid another balloon”. I heard that! Please understand the circumstances. You are in the middle of heading out the door and there comes a time when enough is enough. The party started late, the pizza was late, the host asked if you could start late, you’ll be late to your next show, it’s 100 degrees and the kids are rubbing their
balloons against the grass. You told them earlier “Hold them in the air”. You told them again and again, “It’s time to leave”. So now Mr. smarty pants, do you see the wisdom here? Instead of looking like a schlubb who begs off by saying “I’m sorry, I have to go” what you’re doing is A.

Emotionally bonding with the child (or hysterical adult) so they know you understood their pain and you followed up by offering a solution in having them recycle it . The child now feels they feel like the’re helping. The last impression you want to leave is a 5 year old standing there with a broken balloon dangling from their hand as you are pocketing a fistful of cash. Ok, Ok. Don’t listen, just make all the kids “one last balloon”, why not move in the spare bedroom, just don’t blame me if you’re late to your next show.